We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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