shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
