Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
