i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
