Christians are straight up FREAKS
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
