Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You took a bar mat shot.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
