Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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