grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
