If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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