Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
