my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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