I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They took my balls.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
