My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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