i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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