Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
