idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
