no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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