That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
