dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
