I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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