Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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