when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
