As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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