Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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