He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
