o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
