lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize