Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
