i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize