(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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