Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
