I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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