Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
