I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
