I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
