I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
