My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
