Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
