why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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