girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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