K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
