if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
