i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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