Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
