Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
the raccoons are back...
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