I am in a vortex of obligation.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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