I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
