i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
