How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
