420 ftw
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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