I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
