i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
