I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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