I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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