is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize