Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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