My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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