Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
