i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
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Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
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