Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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