What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
