My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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