I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize